And to think it is a BOY!!!!! aaahhhh!
Back story: In July (2016) I had a miscarriage. I was only 5 weeks along so we seriously just found out one week that we were pregnant and the next I spotted red. I went to get my blood drawn to see if it was a miscarriage. Then had to wait a few days and go back to get my blood drawn again. I remember I was in the Michael's craft store bathroom when I first saw the blood. My first thought was, Whatever happens it is in Heavenly Father's plan. It will be okay.
Little did I know this would start a very long process of recovering from a miscarriage and then trying again to get pregnant. The longest and hardest time of my life. I cried a lot. I was so beside myself. The best thing I did after talking with the nurse who called and apologized that it was a miscarriage and that they just got my blood test back, I called my mom. Sometimes calling my mom isn't the best idea for stressful situations, I am always looking for certain answers from her. This time she said exactly what I needed to hear. She cried with me. She told me even though I wasn't far along it is still a miscarriage. And that it is still SO HARD. And she was right. I didn't have to have a D&C or anything so the actual miscarrying of the baby was fine. It was after the fact that I wasn't pregnant anymore and I wanted to be SO BAD.
I knew Jeremy and I had more kids waiting to join our family. I knew every time Carly and Emma held a friend's baby that they would be amazing big sisters. I knew I wanted another little baby to love and care for.
Fast forward to yesterday at our ultrasound. I never feel completely attached or even that the pregnancy is real until I have the ultrasound to find out what we are having. Something about the ultrasound and being able to see the baby move and measured. I love it. I can start planning for this baby. I am half way there and it is getting so real! And of course the ultrasound pictures are amazing and actually look like actual babies. Precious.
As soon as the ultrasound technician said that it was a boy, tears started streaming down my face and I couldn't keep it together! I was just so relieved to be looking at a baby that is inside of me! I asked Jeremy for a tissue from my purse. haha He can never find anything in there. So he then asked the technician for a tissue. haha. I just couldn't believe it! I am carrying a healthy, growing baby boy!!!!
I just feel so blessed to be pregnant and being able to have such easy pregnancies. I am 20 weeks and like my other two pregnancies, some days I have all the energy in the world. The next day all I want to do is sleep. Carly will come into my room and ask 'mom is the baby tired today?' 'Yes, Carly the baby is so tired today.' 'Okay mom!' and she closes my door and goes and plays with Emma. She is seriously so interested in the baby and so helpful! If I am eating something she asks 'mom does the baby like that?' 'mom how is the baby boy today?' She is seriously the sweetest.
I haven't publicly announced my pregnancy until yesterday for a few reasons. My life right now is Carly and Emma. I wasn't quite ready for people to know because of my miscarriage. I was scared for a long time that I would miscarry again. Like even up until seeing the baby yesterday and making sure everything was looking great, I was still nervous.
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| My first ultrasound to see our little nugget at 9 weeks. |
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| our little nugget! Even at 9 weeks it looked like an actual baby. |
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| I don't remember how far along I was in this picture, but I text my sisters and told them I couldn't hide the baby bump anymore! My church skirts and shirts were too revealing! |
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| This was from yesterday's 20 week ultrasound. |
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| Carly loves looking at this on the fridge. She points out his eyes, nose, lips, and hand. |
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